Why You Should Date A Goth

This snippet was inspired by girlonthenet’s On why you should date a boy that travels. Or not, the original Date a boy who travel’s article and Blake Curran’s You should date a guy who writes.

On why you should date a boy who travels. Or not.

On why you should date a boy who travels. Or not., 

Photograph by Sarah Walrus

Date a Goth. Date a Goth that treasures aesthetics; who will fight you for the perfect eyeliner, and collects limited edition Cult Vinyls. Date a Goth that scoffs at all the “mall-goth” clothes wearing, and those asking for the DJ to play Bela Legosi’s Dead for the third time. Date a Goth because they come from a different world than you do.

You might find them in a coffee shop, a post-punk club, or a library – reading occult fiction or “how to’s” on mummification. Although, they’ll exclaim that they plan to ritualistically kill their cat and mummify her, you’ll know that she’s their best friend.

Ask what music they listen to. Maybe ask about the band shirt they’re wearing under that ankh. They’ll love it if you ask. They might scoff and tell you it’s obscure, although on Google it has a million hits. But just listen. Appreciate the music for what it isn’t, and bask in their sarcastic thought and well hidden jokes. Appreciate it for yourself.

Learn from this Goth. Try out their make up; open your eyes and look at yourself differently. They’ll teach you that people are fluid, or maybe just how many fluids people are filled with. Let them talk to you about how much they hate Pastel Goth and repeatedly exclaim that music was better in the eighties. Laugh together about it. They will make you feel alive again; undead.

Find a Goth because you deserve a life of surrealism. Because you deserve to be adorned with the elegance of Victoriana. You deserve to look at life with laughter filled sarcasm. Because that’s what will bring you joy. Better yet, find this joy together. And if you can’t find a Goth, date a vampire instead. They’re pretty much the same.

Dating Outside of the Subculture: Things to Consider and Disregard

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This is in response of the Poll of the Week about dating outside of the subculture that can be found on the right side bar at the top.

Now, I’m not going to try and tell you whether you should or shouldn’t date inside or outside of the subculture but I can say that the poll suggested what I already though; most of you are pretty open minded. Then again it all depends on the situation and that is what I’m going to be discussing.

Firstly, I have the most un-Goth boy friend almost possible but he’s also a hardcore gamer. Something I see often is the cross over between the gaming community and alternative subcultures/etc. It could be the possibility that they both are somewhat secluded from ‘normal’ society but I don’t particularly want to lump all Goth’s and all Gamers into that category. Some of the gamers I know are the most social and popular people but then that also ties into the fact that gaming is becoming popular culture these days which I’m not going to get into because that’s beside the point.

Then again I have also dated a Goth, only one (hehe). Sorry to say he wasn’t a very good representative of the scene and this was while I was still a baby-bat: racist, hateful and violent. Such a lovely mix. Though I don’t have very good experiences in dating within the subculture I’ll try and stay as fair as I can. I remember the little things like the proud moment he let me take home his assortment of spiky brackets and chains. But to be perfectly honest, I prefer to date outside of the scene.

While we have my little rant out of the way let’s go onto the pros of dating within and outside of the subculture. There will be no cons!

Pros for dating within:

• You have a general idea that they would be interested in thing’s somewhat parallel to your own.
• They may have a better understanding of your subculture, why you are involved in your subculture and general stereotypes.
• They probably wont feel embarrassed by your clothing choices or simple things you say or like in public and if he does then it’s probably not the best.
• You can dress up together! This is a very shallow pro though and depends really on the person.
•  Non-Goths could take you as some sort of stereotype, for instance you’re into really kinky things etc.
• Goth jokes can be openly spoken and understood.
• There isn’t really a chance of dating them and finding out that you’re their toy of rebellion.
• You can both actively be involved in the scene.
• Non-Goths may be intimidated when surrounded by your Goth friends. (This was Coen’s con.)
• Meeting the parents could go a lot smoother as they could already be used to the look.

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Pros for dating outside of the subculture:

• They may have similar interests as you.
• They may be very open minded.
• You could gain insight into a different subculture. (I know so much more about the gaming scene now.)
• There’s no pressure to be ‘more Goth’ to compete with your significant other or to live up to their standards.
• There’s always the saying: opposites attract. Which is completely true for me.
• Most people say that you need a life out of your similar interests. Dating someone from a different subculture could be this non-similar interest.
• Freedom to be yourself without loss of Goth Cred (Which only exists in your emotions).

 Now that you have the pros and pros the next step is to completely disregard all of them. Sure these are things that subconsiously come into relationships and sometimes tear them apart but don’t live your life on rules. Everyone is different; there is no rule that can’t be dis-proven by someone. So go with your gut and if you love someone it shouldn’t matter whether they’re Goth or not. If you want to date either way or not date at all is your own choice. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Best Wishes,
-Sary

Poll of the Week: Dating Outside of the Subculture

This weeks Poll of the Week is simple and not nearly as ridiculous as one might assume at first glance. What are your thoughts on dating inside and outside of the subculture, would you prefer someone in the subculture because you believe you’ll have more in common or you think that there are too many complications dating someone who may be so different than yourself. Or do you date outside, or have no preference? Maybe you don’t date at all!

Tell me your thoughts.

• I prefer to date within the subculture.
• I prefer to date outside of the subculture.
• I have no preference.
• I don’t date.

Be sure to vote in the poll to the right!

Best wishes,
-Sary

P.S. Sorry this post is late! I completed one part
of my assessments and had the best day ever!
By the way, this poll of the week was suggested
by the lovely, Coen (my boy friend).